Back at it....AGAIN

I'm sure by now you guys are getting tired of me saying that "I'm Back....and this time I mean it"!!! How many times have I made that promise to myself and to my friends and family! I guess this time I'm not going to promise anyone anything. I've had a few things happen lately that have shaken me to the very core of my being! I know that I need to change my life on so many levels! I need to start loving myself, and believing in myself! I need to look deep inside and see the beautiful woman that everyone else claims to see!

I've done a LOT...and I do mean a LOT of soul searching this past week! I"ve come to the realization that I can't change the past...I have to let it go and decide that I can make a tremendous influence on my future if I just take the first step! The only thing stopping me from being everything I want to be is ME!!!! It's nobody else's fault, and it's nobody else's problem either! If I want it...I have to make the choice to go get it...and be willing to pay whatever price it takes to get it!

I'm working on several aspects of my life!
1. my relationship with myself
2. my relationships with my family
3. my health and fitness
4. my realtionship with my friends
5. my new business
6. my financial house

So many diffferent areas of my life...and so much to improve on! But I"m going to take it one step at a time. I do believe that working just one job is going to make a HUGE difference with my relationships with my family and friends! It also opens up the time to be able to work on my health and fitness. Starting July 1st my whole life is going to change! I'm so excited, but terrified in the same breath. I've put a lot out there on the limb! If I don't succeed in my business...not only do I suffer, but so does my family! Sometimes the stress of it all seems unbearable...and last week I broke!

I'm working on a daily plan. I haven't finished it yet...but when I do I will be posting it! If I plan out each day, and be sure to complete what I plan, then life should fall into place for me! I know it's a big step...but I do beleive that I'm up for the challenge!

I was born to be successful...at whatever I choose to do! I do have it in me...I've just gotta reaquaint myself with that part of me!

Thanks for all the continued love and support from everyone! Unfortunately I will NOT be in the next round of Kari's competition...too much added pressure! But I will be watching and checking out how you guys are doing! I will also try to blog more often, and get my feelings out as therapy along the way!

Love you my Amigos...and again...THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME!!!! xoxoxoxo

So Far...So good!

Well...it's day two of yet ANOTHER attempt to get my shit together! I'm hearing my Amigos having such success, and I gotta join them! Good news...Eugene has decided to do the walking with me in the mornings! He's getting up Mon, Tues, and Friday to walk for an hour...provided there's no rain! I know 3 days is not much...but it's all the time I have for now...and it's a start! I'm also getting my water and supplements in! My food choices are good...some room for improvement...but slow and steady...that's what I'm doing this time! It seems when I go "all or nothing", I crash! I've done that route about 6 times now...and I can't keep yo-yoing this 70lbs off and on, and off, and on, and off, and on again! I have to make permanent changes...which means I have to make changes that I can live with FOREVER!!!! And right now...it's just one baby step at a time!

So, that being said...I'm excited that I've done 2 days...and looking forward to Friday now...so I can go again! It's nice to talke to my hubby for an hour with no children interupting! I think this will not only help my health, but my marriage!

Here's to a bright, new, healthy future...slow and steady!@!!!

New Beginnings!

Wowsers...did I ever have an amazing long weekend! I had friends and family galore! I got the poool set up, the gardens all planted and weeded, and my yards (front and back), looking like heaven on earth! It sure was a lot of work...but I enjoyed it all! The sun was incredible...and I got quite the tan too! I must be honest though...my diet was terrible...and I drank 2 28 packs of Coors light all to myself! So you can just imagine what the scales did....up, up, up they went! I weighede in at 187.6 this morning! CRAP!!!! That's a whole lot I've gone up in the last two weeks! I know I've used my back as an excuse...but it really isn't an excuse to eat and drink like a piggy!

Enough of that! Today starts a new beginning! And it doesn't matter how many times I've said that before, cuz one of these times it'll stick! I'm not a failure until I quit trying right?! So I got up early and went for a 45 minute power walk with my hubby, my next door neighbour, and my puppy! We've all decided to take a flat route until I feel ok, cuz my back is still kinda "twingy". My hubby and neighbour both suffer from bad knees too...so they welcomed the idea of taking it easy at first! This will be an easy week cuz yesterday was a holiday (and I took full advantage of it because it was my last day), and I'm not getting up at 4:30 EVER again...so until the end of June I don't do my walk on Wednesday and Thursday because I am at the dental office!

My plan for food is simple actually! I start the day off with only fruit...I can have whatever fruit I want...but only fruit til noon! I've even given up coffee for the most part! I think I will give myself the luxury of a coffee on Saturdays and Sundays! I think moderation will be the key for me! When I take something away completely...I crave it even more than if I don't! I'm trying to keep my portions down to the size of a saucer...not a big plate! Salad is vital EVERY day...whether it's for lunch, supper, or maybe both! I can have it with tuna, chicken....or just with whatever meat is for dinner on the side! I need to get natures raw, fresh, foods into me! Nothing processed...no pasta, rice, potatoes, bread, or dairy...at least not too much of it! Can't take it completely away, cuz again...then I crave it right?!

I'm making sure to start with the supplements again...and water intake! I've never had a problem there anyways! I love water, and it's usually my drink of choice anyways...accept lately..alcohol has been!

Alcohol is completely banned during the week...and even on weekends, unless I have something special...like a wedding, a "buck and doe", or something like that! But I'm not drinking just cuz the sun is shining and the pool is nice and cool! GOT IT!!! I can enjoy the bonfires without the booze! Then I'll get more done the next day!

For my mind I'm getting back into the evening meditation! Reading and listening to my goals, and affirmations every day, and basically just keeping a positive outlook on life! I'm ready to take control of my life...and it all begins today! So far, so good...and I'm feeling great about my decisions!

Now to check in on my 2 Amigos to be sure they're in with me on the game plan!!! xoxo

I Choose To Win!!!

Well...this damn sciatica damage really threw me for a loop! I've never experienced it before (and quite honestly hope I never do again)...I can't imagine how people live that kind of pain chronically! On a good note...my treatments are working...that and staying off my feet as much as possible to let things heal! Lots of icing, and lots of stretching! I truly believe that I will be good to go Monday morning to get started again! I'm not even taking any meds today...gonna see how that goes for me! If it goes ok...then Monday FOR SURE I pick myself up, dust myself off...and get back in the game!

I was at a conference in Toronto all day yesterday...and I do mean all day. I left the house at 6:45 am and got home at 7:45 pm! I scarfed down a huge plate of chicken wings and french fries...after eating my healthy salmon fillet...why did I do that?! Anyways...point is, Iwas tired so I just went up to bed and turned on the tv! I'm sooooo grateful that I did that! Cuz BL was on, and I NEEDED the message! I've been too busy to follow the entire season, but I have watched the odd show when I could, so I knew the competitiors. I do believe that Daris did what he did just for me! He sabbotaged himself so I could see myself in him! That's what I do...have done time and time again! I get to a point where I feel incredible...then instince takes over and I binge! I binge til I feel like I could puke! I binge over and over and over...and it makes me feel worse, and worse and worse about myself! Then before I know it...I take a moment to look up in the mirror, and realize I"ve binged the entire 70lbs I worked so hard to loose right back on my body! It's insane...it really is! I'm serious when I tell you guys that I"ve lost this fkn 70lbs 4 times over!!!!!! It pisses me off that I've done that!

This time I haven't gained the entire amount back...but I didn't loose the entire amount either! I"m on the path of sabbotage BEFORE I even reached my goal...and that scares me! I was a blubbering fool during that episode! When he was down in the kitchen stuffing his face and not knowing why...I saw me! I want this to end...it has to! Then when he was making excuses for his weight gain...jTHAT WAS ME!!!!!! I started last week gung-ho! Unfortunatley I pinched, pulled, or whatever I did to my sciatica...then I did it....I USED IT FOR AN EXCUSE!!!!!! I used it to drink alcohol EVERY day to numb the pain...I used it to eat shit...cuz I tricked myself into thinking that it comforted me! I used it for an excuse to let everything I said I would do...both with fitness and with my business...fall to the way-side! Why did I do that?

It's time I take accountability and ownership for all my past mistakes regarding my weight, my health, my relationships, and my business! It's time I set goals...AND STICK TO THEM!!! It's time I take what life gives me and run with it! I was blessed with so many gifts and I don't let them shine! It's time I let them shine for everyone to see! It's time I become truly happy with myself and enjoy the journey of life!

It's time...and this time...I'M REALLY READY!!!

I'm remaking my goals...setting smaller, more managable goals! I'm celebrating eaach success I achieve...and I'm making this happen! Even if my back doesn't feel great on Monday...I'll have a back-up plan...but I WILL DO SOMETHING!!! And I will start to eat properly, and take my supplements and drink my water!

I've got the best support team in the world...Spitz and Spunkster...they've been with me all the way! We;re a team...and I won't let my team down! I'm with ya girls...the 3 Amigos are gonna reach their goals this year...all of us...all of our goals! xoxoxo

Not as Good Today

OK...so on the days Iwork at the dental office I already stated that I won't be going for my early power walk cuz I refuse to get up before 6 am! Thank God I worked today! For one...it was pissing rain and that woulda sucked cuz it's also FREEZING cold! And my sciatica is REALLY messed up! The pain actually woke me up from a dead sleep several times last night! I feel like crap...and my whole body aches! I started my day off excellent with the fruit and veggy juicer, supplements, and water til lunch...then it happened! I feel so shitty that I ate shitty too!!! Funny how that works for me. I had a chicken wrap...not so bad...but I followed it with nachos and guacamole and one of the MONSTER size Mr. Big chocolate bars! I couldn't help myself! I feel soooo terrible, and that just added to it!

Oh well...what's done is done! I faltered in the moment! That just mean that dinner must be a salad ONLY! I wish this damn headache would go away! GRRRRRRR......

Day 2...WhooHoo...let the streak begin!

Yuppers...yesterday was a success!! Even my eating was great! The only thing I ate that I questioned was 10 whole wheat chips to dip my homemade guacamole (that's healthy right?) Anyways....I wasn't sure...so I limited myself to 10...but it was a GREAT treat regardless!!!

I got in all my water, and supplements, and did the juicer...and only fruit til noon! I ate salad for lunch and supper...with a little chicken breast on the side with lunch...and ham on the side for dinner! I made the boys scalloped potatoes to go with the ham for dinner (of which I only had one fork of...just to satisfy the craving)! I filled up on the steamed broccolli instead! Amazing that that one fork curbed the craving so I didn't feel so damn deprived! I think I'm onto something here! LOL!!!

This morning I've already done my fresh juicer, and my supplements and my walk with Eugene and Wicket! Something weird happened though! I don't know if I need to stretch more or what...but half way through the walk my leg "gave out". Like I mean went totally numb from my butt all the way down to my toes! I've NEVER had that happen before! It was so hard to finish my walk with it hurting like that! At first it was numb, but then it just shot pain up and down the entire leg...with the most pain in behind the knee, and up at the base of my sppine! I don't know what it's all about...but I KNOW it won't stop me! I think I'm gonna have to find the time today to do some extra stretching just to be sure it's not just tight muscles! Amazing how fast your body can get out of shape eh?

Well...I'm off to finish my goals with my business now that health is a "check" for the day! Isn't this journey great?!

So great to be back!

Just Breathe....Day 1

Alrighty...just read Lisa's blog...and it looks like I wasn't alone this weekend! I totally buggered it up...but like her, I'm not worrying about it! Todays the new beginning for me! Today I start my new life of health and fitness! Today I stand up for myself and my sucess! Today...I too...start doing!

Got up this morning and went for my power walk! My hubby even came with me! I love that h'es gonna try and do this with me...so long as his knees don't start acting up again! I've already taken my supplements, and so far so good with the fruit for the mornings! I know I can do this...not just the fitness goals of my life...but the personal goals, and the business goals! I have already acomplished soooo much in my life, and it's time to get back on the winning streak that I was on a few years back!

I'm living my life one moment at a time...using each moment wisely. Making each choice for myself with determination to better myself! Today is the start of my journey! I'm letting the past few months lay down and sleep! I don't need them anymore! I'm keeping my eyes open, and head held high looking forward! I can't change the past...so why the hell should I let my past failures control my future outcomes! The only thing I have control over is now and the future...so that's where my focus is!

FEELS GREAT TO BE BACK!!!

Point Taken

Alright ladies, this is gonna be a VERY long blog today! I've done some serious soul searching since my 2 Amigos gave me my much needed kick in the ass! I have to admit that I have let myself become enslaved by a few arch enemies lately....fear....self-doubt....denial....laziness...and the list goes on! you get the point! I don't live in a country as free as Canada to be a slave to anyone or anything!

I went to a conference in Toronto all day yesterday...it was supposesd to be about business! Funny thing is that a lot of their messages hit me in a completely different way! Sure, it applies to my business...but OMG...it also applies to my life...my level of fitness...my relationships...you name it...it applies!

I'm gonna share a few quotes that hit me hard enough I was compelled to write them down!
"Don't wait for "someday" to do something...there is no "someday" on any calendar in history!"
"The opposite of security is opportunity"
"If you don't stand for anything...you will fall for everything!"
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places along the way."
And my personal favorite of the day was...
"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go!"

It's time to hang in there...I am a succes...and I refuse to let go!!! Spunkster and Spitz reminded me of all the many things I have succeeded at....I need to celebrate my successes a LOT more often...and not my donwnfalls! I really am a success!!! I have lost 40lbs so far on this journey. It doesn't matter that I've gained 20 back!!! I realize where I went wrong...and I intend to fix it!
I am raising 6 wonderful children (well only 3 left at home now...but the other 3 still count), while working a full-time dental job, starting a part-time business that has taken off to the point that I've quit dentistry as of June 30th this year, I do all the bookwork for my husbands contracting business (and I'm damn good at it), and we both work together to manage and operate our 5 rental properties! All while still keeping my home more organized and clean than most mothers. NO WONDER I've lost myself, burnt out, and embarked on this pathetic pity party! Just reading that over makes me tired!!!!!

I'm excited to say that I've discovered balance! My husband has decided to help more around the house, and take over a little more with the rentals! YAY!!!

I've gone down to 2 days a week at the dental office for the next 2 months while we train my permanent repalacement...that frees up the time I need to put into my business before I go full-time! Not to mention...now I can fit in exercise! With my other schedule I was trying to get up at 4:15am to fit it in there...but I got burnt out pretty quickly...and that was the start of this whole spiral thing! I started to need the sleep, so since I didn't exercise, it was an open invitation to eat shit too!!!! WRONG...on SOOOOO many levels! Regardless, it's behind me now, and I've made a new resolve!

On Monday, Tues, and Friday, I will get up at 6:00 to go for an amazing power walk/jog with my dog, and on Wed, Thurs, Iwill get up at 6:00 to go to work! Getting in 3 days of exercise a week is great to start...until I'm full-time...at which time I jog every morning to start off my day! I can handle getting up at 6...I feel human then...and I won't burn out!

My morning starts with the proper supplements, and fresh juice (bought a juicer...soooo good for you...this morning I mixed celery, spinach, pear, grapes, apple, and grapefruit...soooooo yummy). I am giving up coffee complletely. Flushing my system every day by eating only fruit until lunctime.
Lunch is consisiting of either salad with chicken or tuna, or a protein shake! Then dinner is going to be salad, with a white protein (chicken, turkey, fish)

I am doing 10 rounds of cleansing breaths 3 times a day, and getting my evening meditation and visualization in! I am beginning and ending each day by reading my affirmations, and my goals for this year so I remain focussed on them!

Alcohol is out...accept for special occasions...and I will be the judge of what is deemed special enough...not ANYBODY else!

I am working on my health...not a number on the scale...and I intend to blog at least once a week! I am going to give my body what it needs in order for it to function the most optimally possible!

This girl has big dreams, big goals, a big heart....and an even bigger spirit to win at life! I was born to do great things, and it's time I lived up to my destiny!

I guess what I'm saying is...this weekend is all about prepping and buying, and laying down the tracks...cuz on Monday...this train is leaving the station! Not to mean that this weekend I go nuts either! I do have one or two cravings I plan to get out of my system...but nothing crazy...that I can promise...especially no alcohol...I need to keep my mind focused on the dream...cuz I really am gonna finish what I started this year! I have 8 months left...and I'm gonna use every day of every month to better myself and get closer to living the life I deserve!!!!

Here we go 3 Amigos...I think we're all at a place where this is going to work! Let's continue to be there for each other and help each other along the way! You have my promise that I'm in it to win it babies!!! Love you both more than you know!
Pitbull,
xoxoxoxo

Blah, Blah, Blah

OK Spitz...this one is for you! You keep telling me to blog, and that it's "freeing"...well here it goes!

I'm pissed off with myself and with life in general! I was doing so great with this, and I've let it go...seriously let it go! I've gained 20lbs of the 40 I've lost, and I don't really see an end in sight! I've let all the stresses that I'm going through take over, and the food and wine IS comforting!!!!!!

I'm sick and tired of making false promises to myself! I've never finished what I started and I suppose this is just another example of it!!!

I've drawn myself out of the competition because quite frankly it's embarrassing to keep posting that I'm gaining weight while everyone else is losing weight!!! And I hate seeing the same winners month after month in shock of winning!! You won because you actually worked at it!!!!! It really is THAT simple!

I'm tired of feeling weak, when my two Amigos are on another run....and I'm really just not up to it this time round! Geesh...what else can I say!

I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired! This is perhaps why I haven't been blogging! But I have been reading everyone else's blogs! I do love seeing that some people out there are having success!...even if it's not me! So while I may not be blogging myself (cuz I hate being so negative), I'm not gone complettely...just hiding in the shadows!

My appologies to anyone who may have found this offensive...that's really not my intention here! I guess my inner hurt is so raw right now, and my shame so deep, that unfortunately I'm not that great at expressing it! I am TRULY happy for those of you who are doing great...and I LOVE reading about it! Keep up the good work!! As for me...maybe I can start fresh next week if I can pull my head up out of my ass in the meantime!!

Sorry again....
Pitbull

Pretty Good First Week

Life is great isn't it? I had a pretty good week! Not perfect, but then that's not the goal! Perfection is unreachable, and just sets you up for failure! I choose to succeed and live my life healthy but allow for acceptions!

I got exercise in 2 days this week...and plan to do a big walk Saturday as well! I ate clean for most of the week...with one accception after an incredible sucessful business meeting the "team" went out for one glass of wine...and a couple appetizers to split...and yes... I enjoyed it!!!!

I've taken my suppleements every day, and drank enough water every day! Yes...I think it's been a great week! I don't even care what the scale says...cuz I feel great inside! I'm at peace this week...and to me...that's what this journey is all about!!!

All For One...and One for All...3 AMIGOS ARE BACK!!

Well...thanks so much Pammy for expressing yourself on your blog! I really have been reading them...just didn't have much to comment about! I let myself down....HUGE...and I really didn't want anyone else to know about it! During this competition...I've managed to go up 4lbs from my start weight...how crazy is that! But I'm done. I know I have no chance to win any money...but it's not the money anymore...I wanna win in life! I want to set the example for my children that their mommy ALWAYS finishes what she starts! That fitness can be fun and not a chore! That healthy food can taste deliscious and actually be the better choice! Yuppers...the 3 Amigos are back in action!

I actually secretly started yesterday. I'm taking it slow and steady...so I don't burn out like I just did! I have this bad habit of going gung ho to keep up with everyone else (most of whom are stay home moms)...not that I think that's an easy job...trust me...I KNOW its' not...got 6 kids....but trying to run a house with not much help from hubby...full-time dentistry...and starting my part-time business...(about to turn full-time June 30th), I just killed myself doing the P90X at 4 am!!!

So...for now...til I'm done with dentistry...I use the days I'm NOT at the dental office and get up at 6 am....like normal people...and do an hour power walk. My walk route has 2 MAJOR hills, and a giant set of about 80 stairs! Trust me...I feel it when I'm done that! On the days I do work in the dental office I'm just doing the 16 minute AB Ripper at lunch time! Saturdays and Sundays are optional, depending on my schedule! Hoping to get the boys interested in bike rides and nice long nature hikes...but we'll see how that plays out...maybe even some trampoline jumping!

As of July 1st...I'm full-time my own boss...so we'll see what I come up with then! Maybe I'll continue running...maybe try P90X again at a normal time...we'll see! I'm not planning that far ahead! Just taking things one day at a time! Enjoying my life one moment at a time!

Add the great eating I"m doing to the mix...and the new me has no choice but to emerge from her inner chains! Chained to the crazy beliefs that I'm not worth it!!! Guess what...I AM WORTH IT!!!

So I say with much excitement! The 3 Amigos are back...and us Canadian girls intend to kick some serious booty!!

xoxoxoxo Love you ladies!!

Spiralling

Well...I'm in that spot again! Funny thing is...this time I'm aware of it...but nonetheless...still watching it happen almost willingly!...kinda eery! I've hit a major bump in my road...I've lost 40lbs so far..(out of the 70 totall I have to lose), and I'm on my way back up! Gained 5 this month so far...with no end in sight!

I've gained and lost this damn 70 lbs 4 times...this 5th time was supposed to be the last "cycle"...but apparently I'm just not ready! I'm feeling loathing, contempt, failure...you name it...but I'm continuing down the wrong path. I can't, or maybe won't stop myself!

I need to graciously bow out of the competition before I humiliate myself with the weigh-in photos! Good luck to all...I will continue to read your blogs...and maybe even add one of my own in there when...and if...I can get things going again!

Thanks for Input!

I've been doing a LOT of thinking, crying, and soul-searching this last week! Amazing what a sudden upset in your "normal" routine of life can cause (if you'd call my regular routine normal)! I've come to realise that yes...I've had a LOT to deal with these past couple of weeks, but I've also looked deep inside and realised that I used these pressures and misfortunes as EXCUSES!!!!! It's during these hard times that I should have put more value on myself and my health...but I didn't! I've drank excessively, and ate excessively...and have done absolutely NO exercise!

Time to take control of my life...and gitterdone! Time to decide that I'm worth it! Time to focus on ME!!!!!

Not Doing So Well

I caved! I'm an emmotional eater, and things have gotten pretty stressful around here...and...I caved! No sense beating myself up over it...just gotta try to stop it before I gain weight because of it!

My husband and I own rental properties, and one of our tenants decided to get drunk (doesn't go well with his meds), and burn our house down! There is currently a warrant out for his arrest. That property housed him and 4 other tenants! Luckily nobody was hurt, but our house is not doing so well! The Fire Marshall hasn't even let us in yet...it happened 2 days ago! All the investigations and damage assessing has to be done before anyone can go in! So we've had to accomodate the other tenants out of our own pockets, and deal with insurance people, and upset tenants, etc, etc!!!!! Needless to say...it's been VERY stressful around our house for the past 2 days! We've both had to take time off work to deal with this, which means no money coming in...but lots going out! I know it's not an excuse to crash...but I did! Not just with food! We both had a hot tub last night and got drunk together too! I know alcohol doesn't take your problems away...but it sure helped us to forget about them for just one night! I do feel guilty cuz this was supposed to be the week I got back into things, but now it looks like next week is! One day I'll have enough control of myself that things like this won't cause me to turn to my old crutch...FOOD!!! But for this time...I just didn't have the strength! Sorry to let you guys down!

I DID IT FOR YOU TWO!!!! xo

I am sooo proud of myself right now!!! I had a VERY late night with clients last night...didn't get home until 11:30...and couldn't settle into bed to sleep until after midnight! So when the alarm went off at 5:00 this morning...well...honestly...I reached over and turned it off! No way in hell I was gonna get up and exercise when I had that little sleep! I knew I had a big day of tax work ahead of me...and you really need a fresh mind to do that kinda thing!

So I was cool with the thought that once again...my work took precidence over working out! I honestly had convinced myself that I just couldn't do it today...and I would "start tomorrow"! Guess what? Tomorrow NEVER COMES!!!

What changed my mind? I got text messaages from both of my best friends during this whole journey!!! Spitz and Spunky! They both sent nice messages asking if I did what I said I was gonna do...and that is....start working out today!! It was their push, motivation, and belief in me that made me put my paperwork aside, turn on the tv, change into my workout clothes, and do the AbRipperX video! OK...so it's only 18 minutes...but it's a workout...and I sweat...and I can honestly say I did something good for myself today!!!!

THANKS GUYS!!!!! TODAY WAS FOR YOU!!!!! xoxoxoxoxox

So now tomorrow is a new day! And my goal is to get up at 5:00 am and do my entire hour of "Trouble Zones" by Jillian Micheals!!!

Day 1...Perfection!!!

It's only 4:00pm...and already I have to say today is perfect!

I needed to get some supplements (since getting back into the groove of taking them daily is part of my new resolve), so.....seeing that the sun was shining, and the dog needed walking, I decided to walk to the health store and back! Holy cow! What a power walk! The dog is napping as I'm typing this blog! I'm not sure of the exact distance, but my guess is around 8km! I got my exercise in, soaked up some vitamin D, treated the dog to a much needed walk, and bought my supplements for the next 2 months all at the same time!!! Since it was $350 worth of supplements...it was an extra workout on the way home carrying the 15lbs worth of stuff!!!

I have also eaten perfectly so far too! I'm excited about that cuz I've REALLY fallen off the wagon in that department lately! Gotta be PERFECT for the next 4 weeks cuz I'm losing 20lbs! That also means sticking to my exercise regimend too!!! It's all worth it!!! I'M WORTH IT!!!

Now it's time to take care of the "business" requirements of my day!!!

A-HA

So I'm reading an amazing book right now called "Excuses Begone" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer...and I must say I'm loving it! I'm only 61 pages into the book, and I'm already completely entranced by it! I felt compelled to share a few quotes that have REALLY struck me

"Rather than insisting that you're too busy for exercise, instead think, I exercise daily because I'm way too busy to take any time for being sick!"
Isn't that amazing! I think that quote was intended just for me! Isn't that what I"m always saying?! I'm making excuses for my laziness!!!

"I can accomplish anything I put my mind to here in the present moment. My past has no bearing on what I can and will create. If it has never hapened before, that is allthe more reason for me to make it happen now. I will cease to being a slave to my past."

That means to stop using the excuse that I've tried sooooo many times to loose the weight and failed! I've never finished what I started before!!!! That's my past...and I here and now refuse to be a slave of my past!

This book has so many excellent nuggets..I really recommend it to everyone! It's not just about weight loss either...it's about everything in your life that isn't what it should be!

Just thought I'd share!!!!

Just For You Spunkster

Already...at the request of the "Spunkser", I have to post my list of things to do!
1. Starting tonight I am listening to the "Gabriel Method" every night...without fail.

2. Starting tomorrow I am drinking the proper amount of water...and along with that, starting to take my daily supplements!

3. Starting Friday I'm getting my eating back under control...I'm gonna be VERY strict with this one! I was gonna wait til Monday...but I think I'll get groceries tonight...cuz I'm determined to do this thang!

4. Starting Friday exercise is a MUST every day! I only have 4 weeks til my holiday...so I won't die from exhaustion in that short a time! I'm gonna get up at 5am EVERY day and do my hour of exercise! And weather permitting, I'm gonna come home at lunch and walk my puppy for 1/2 hour every day too!

5. This weekend I am cleaning my office...getting my husbands data entered for taxes, and doing all the tax shit for our rentals! Gotta get that all done cuz I use it for an excuse not to exercise...not sure why...just cuz it weighs me down I think!

I'm excited...it's all starting tomorrow...or some things Friday! No sense in waiting til Monday right? The goal is to be in the 150's for my trip! I know that means about 20lbs in 4 weeks...but if I'm PERFECT with diet, exercise, and water consumption...I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!! Who knows...with this much resolve...I may win a little money in the competition this month! Now THAT would be sweet!!!!!

So there you have it...my new plan...what do ya think?

Wait for me Amigos!!!

Well...I may not have been doing what I should have this month (or what I even promised I would), but I have been reading the posts of my Amigos to keep my spirits up through this stupid "funk" that I'm in for some reason! I must say, that the last 2 days, the entries I've read have really touched me! Everyone seems to be accomplishing wonderful things lately, and have new resolve...and...well...to be honest...I'm feeling left out! I wanna hop back on that Amigo train and really DO THIS THING!!!! I've got the best girls on my side that anyone could EVER ask for, so I need to put my hand out, hold tight...and let them pull me through! I'm not gonna let you girls down, and I'm not gonna let myself down! I'm gonna listen to my "Gabriel Method" cd every night again...and revisit my goals for the next few days! I'm taking the rest of this week just to get my "head" back into the game...and Monday my heart and soul will join in!!

YUPPERS!!!!! I'M GONNA DO THIS THING FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!! It's not about the competition any more...it's about me...finishing what I've started for the first time in my life! It's about taking control of my life again! It's about being accountable and responsible for ALL the choices I've made...it's about loving myself and knowing deep down that I deserve everything great that life has to offer!!!

I'm with you Amigos....wait for me...I'm coming!!!

Thanks

Just a quick blog to thank everyone who has believed in me, and been pushing me forward on this journey of mine! I know I haven't been so great lately, but I will get back into it! I have a lot of work to do in the next couple weeks with my business...but I will also try to eat properly and excercise daily! Not gonna make any promises, but I will try! Thanks again...you guys have no idea what it means to me to know that you're all rooting for me! I WILL get out of this "funk", if it kills me!!

I QUIT!!!!!!!....

I've suffered long enough...for years upon years now...and it's time for me to give it up and quit! Don't worry...I don't mean that I quit with our competition, or with trying to make this lifestyle change! I don't want to sound like a broken record...which I know I do...but I quit with the self-destructive ways that I've become good at! I've been doing sooooo good...I've lost 40 lbs so far over the past year...and I can actually see me reaching my 140lb goal finally! So what do I do? I sabbotage myself! Why? I don't know! I don't know how to explain it, and I don't know the answers as to why...but every time I get close...I revert back to my old ways and gain the weight back! I so desperately don't want that to happen again! I've already gained back the 4lbs I lost last month...and even 2 that I lost the month before! I don't know what to do! I can't get my head out of the "funk" that I'm in! My trip is only 5 weeks away...and I soooooo desperately want to look and feel good! I know I can't be 140lbs...but I'd seriously settle for 155lbs...that means I have to lose 20lbs in the next 5 weeks! Is that even possible? I've just gotta get a grip before I gain back the entire 40lbs I've lost! I can't let that happen! So sorry for being all negative, but I was hoping that if I blog about it...I'll miraculously "see the light", and switch it back into gear!

So....here it is...I start fresh tomorrow...forgive myself for my HUGE slip-ups lately...and get my life back into gear! On EVERY level! I"m 40 now...so it's time to start acting it right! I CAN DO THIS!!!!

March is MY month!!

Ok...no sense fretting about what weight I wanted to lose for January and February but didn't!!! It's time to focus on March! It's My month! I turn 40 on Monday! I've got 6 weeks until my trip...so I'm gonna use them to the fullest! I'm so excited my hubby is on board too! I'm doing the "Frosty 5K" run tomorrow in Burlington...what a way to jumpstart the month eh?! Yay me...that's what I think! And he's also helping me with my obsession with the scale! I weigh myself EVERY day...sometimes two or three times...and I stress over the small gains and losses! He has taken away my scale until April 5th...so I can't track how I'm doing along the way! The logic is...that I'll stop obsessing and focussing on the pounds...and just do what I have to do all month to get the job done!!! I've got a plan...and I'm going to succeed!!! No excuses...no options...just gotta do it!!!! So my goal is to not even see the 60's pass me by!!! I'm sitting at 170 right now...and by the time my hubby gives me my scales back...I'll be in the 50's!!! That's it...that's the goal! I'm so excited...but anxious at the same time! Worried I'll have withdrawls from my scales! Let's see if this plan works...eventually something will right?!

Disappointed AGAIN!!!! Ugh!!

I think I consider weigh-in day...."DOOM'S DAY"!!!! It's the day I have to face the music! It's the day that I can't lie to myself because the scale and the pictures don't lie! It's the day I'm held accountable for all my poor choices in the entire month collectively! And it sucks!! Two months in a row I was grossly below my goal! I know it's my own fault...I've given into temptations, and I must pay the price! This month I'm really pissed at myself cuz last week I was weighing in at 165lbs (that's 5 lbs less than today), and I think I sabotaged myself! I was only 1lb away from my goal, and that's definately doable in one week...so what did I do? I gave into the temptation to go get a Creme Brulae McFlurry one day! Then that tasted so good, the next day we went out for lunch...and lets just say I didn't order salad! Last night my boys were taken out by the babysitter, so my hubby and I took advantage of it and went out for dinner again...DEFINATELY NOT SALAD!!!!! I haven't been home in the evening for weeks now, so we also indulged in a few drinks while watching some TV...I drank the entire bottle of red wine!!!

So the scale reflected my indulgences with a 5lb gain from last week! I feel terrible! And to top it off...Monday is my birthday...and I know I'll be having chinese food at lunch at the office...cuz that's what we've done for years (and to be honest...I want my chinese food...it's MY birthday...and it's a milestone)!

I need to get serious and get working! I only have 6 weeks before my trip...and now I have 30lbs to lose! How the hell am I gonna manage that one? That's 5lbs per week! Is that even practical? After my birthday...that's it!!!! No more cheats for me until my trip!!! And exercise is a MUST at least 5 days per week!!!! I need to be true to me! I don't wanna feel this way next month again!

I'll take the 4lb loss and run with it...knowing full well that March is my month to take some money away from this competition!!!!!

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!!!

Well...here it is...it's weigh in day again tomorrow! I'm experiencing mixed emotions! I'm excited to be done another month...but I'm a little anxious cuz I don't think I reached my goal! Exercise has gone out the window this month! I'm hoping to see 10lbs...but the scale will tell tomorrow!

On Monday it's my 40th birthday!!!! I had big goals for my 40th...and I'm saddened a little that I didn't reach them! I was supposed to be 140lbs by then..and..well...that's just not gonna happen! I have 25 more to lose!

So...I've decided to march forward! I've resolved that my 40th year will be the best year of my life! I'm going to committ to exercise 5 days a week! I'm committing to a 90% perfectly clean diet all year (gotta have 10% treats in there to keep my sanity...and to ward off BINGES!!!)

I'm making committments for my business, and my personal and family life as well!!! Yuppers...40 is going to be the best year of my life...and it's up to me to make it that way!

3 Days til Weigh-in!!!

Gotta admit...I'm kinda excited about weigh-in! I've kinda inadvertantly used this month as a comparison! See...January I worked out hard, but ate kinda crappy! So now this month...I've eaten extremely clean (did have a couple little treats for my sanity), but couldn't find the time to get the exercise in! I wanna see the difference it makes on the scales! Then...next month it's my goal to do both...and REALLY see a HUGE difference! January I lost 5lbs...and I do believe I will reach my goal of 10 for this month...so put them together...and I should lose 15 next month!! Ye-haw!!!

Didn't work out this week so far...even though I had every intention to! I wiped out pretty badly and my knee is black and blue and swollen! The palm of my right hand is pretty badly gouged too! So I guess I take a few days to heal...but keep on track with food! That's why I thought...let's see the differrence betweeen good diet...and exercise!

I should be all healed up by Saturday...to begin the month where both aspects with play together! Feeling great about it! Can't wait to see my pics at the end of March...I should be 10 tiny lbs away from my goal!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

Boy Oh Boy!

So much for streaks!!! I've managed to keep my eating in check...I really think I've got that one down pat! I'm making healthy choices AND eating the proper portions! I really gave it my all this week, but failed the challenge! I only managed to work out 3 days this week! I worked my usual 10 hour days at the dental office, then was booked EVERY NIGHT this week with clients (RRSP season deadlines...everyone wants them yesterday), I even saw 4 clients on Saturday! So today I decided to catch up on my housework and laundry, and go to visit my new little neice...as well as prepare a dinner for my in-laws, and enjoy their company!

Decided that I'm gonna work out week days only, and take the weekend for myself, and my family! If that includes something physical, then that's a bonus! Balancing out my life...and I think this makes my kids and my hubby happy, since I'm gone day and night for the rest of the week!

Bring on this last week of the month! I KNOW I'll reach my goal of 10lbs this month...maybe even more!!!

Day 2 Exercise and Clean Eating!

Two days of exercise down...3 more to go to have completed Kari's challenge for this week! Not that I'm gonna stop there...but at least I can say I DID IT!!! So glad to have Pammy doing this with me in the morning! This morning I could of stayed in bed, but I knew I couldn't let her down! And I'm glad I didn't, cuz it felt great to get my workout in! It always does. My day goes smoother, and I'm actually less tired on the days that I get up...so I don't know why I make excuses NOT to do it! Oh well...the past is past...I'm looking forward to an incredibly happy and healthy future!

Looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow!!

Day 1 exercise and clean eating

All right...so the clean eating has been going on already for 2 weeks...but I'm gonna count them together from now on...and do a complete 30 day Shred and perfect eating choices! I'm so excited to have the support and comradery (spelling?) that I have with Spunkster and Spitfire!!! We are the "Three Amigos" of healthy living! I've decided that since March 1st my schedule lightens a little...that I will add in the Couch 2 5k at that time on Mon, Wed, and Fridays! That gives me this week to get used to the idea!!! I'm sooooo excited to be doing this and have a plan set in stone!

Life has been really going my way this year...I think 2010 is definately my year! I'm going to be successful on so many levels!
1) Successfully managing time with family, friends, and career
2)Successfully living a life with optimal health choices
3) Incredible marriage...things are really improving with our communication and basic love and respect for each other
4) Out of the world success with my business...going full-time with where my heart is...and giving up dentistry FOREVER!!!!

I realize that my dreams are definately achievable...all I needed was to set goals, make a plan...and carry those plans through! It really is that simple! I dare anyone to try and stop me...or even slow me down!!! It's just not gonna happen! This is the year I take control of my destiny...and I'm shooting for the moon!!!!!!

New Game Plan

I'm so excited! It seems that Spunkster has been having problems with committing to exercising lately too! So we're gonna text each other every morning when we're all dressed and ready to go for our workouts! That way I feel accountable to someone, and I don't like to let other people down! I really think this will work to get things going again!!! Can't wait for tomorrow morning!

My work schedule is going to slow down now too...so that should help! I've come up with a concrete schedule for my departure from the dental office...and I'm so frickin excited about it! I really can't wait to get outa there, and throwing myself into what I really love! So I am only working Tues, Wed, and Thursday at the dental office until April 1st! At that time...I get Tuesday off as well... making it only 2 days a week there...then my official quit day is June 30th!!!! I can't wait!! I added the days, and I only have 37 days left there...that excludes my 2 weeks holidays that are coming up!!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about it! So when things slow down...I may up the exercise...no...correction....I WILL up the exercise!!!!

Gotta Wrap My Head Around It!!!

Once again...I was all ready and set to start exercising this week! And to add fuel to the fire...EXERCISE IS THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE!!! So now I KNOW I'll do it right? WRONG!!! This is Tuesday...and both yesterday and today I couldn't get out of bed! See...for me...if I don't do it in the morning, it just doesn't get done cuz I work 10 hour days in the dental office, then I'm usually out til 10-11 pm working my other career! Things are going INCREDIBLE for me business-wise...but I'm finding it impossible to get up 45 minutes early to do my workout! I keep telling myself, "it's only 45 minutes...what good does 45 minutes sleep do my body, compared to 45 minutes good, hard, exercise?" I know in my mind what I have to do...but when it comes time to get up...I just don't seem to have it! Help me guys...how can I re-focus and committ to getting the workout in? For the challenge this week...it was 5 days of working out...so now I HAVE to do it the rest of the week to say I completed the challenge...and the competitive part of me is going to make sure I complete EVERY challenge within this competition!! So thanks Kari for these challenges...I know I don't always respond to them...but believe me...they're helping me on this journey of mine! I'm stuck at my weight...so I HAVE to add the exercise to break through this plateau...gotta get up and get moving in the morning...it's really THAT SIMPLE!!!

14th Clean Day!!!

Two weeks under my belt of clean eating...I guess that means after this week it will officially be habit! Don't worry...I know that the old "bad habits" of the past will always be lurking around me, just waiting for a weak moment to pounce on me...but I reallly think I've got a good head on my shoulders, and an even better outlook on things! I have now officially lost EVERY LAST POUND that I gained over the holidays...that's 14lbs gone...and this time...gone for GOOD!!!! So I decided that the best way to celebrate that amazing victory...is to "bring it" for the next 30 days and commit wholeheartedly to doing the 30-day shred! It's only 30 minutes of my day...and even me....with my CRAZY schedule can committ to 30 minutes a day! So starting tomorrow morning...it's 5:20 am wake-up from now until....well....until I've done the 30 day shred...and we'll reset some goals then.!!! I'm so excited that I only have 25lbs to lose! That seeems soooooooooo doable to me right now! Definately gonna gitterdone during this challenge! Thanks for all the "cheering" and good advise you've all given me!

11 Days Clean!!!

Woohoo!!! I passed another HUGE hurdle! Our office is working with half the staff this week (the other half are on holidays), so being that things were quiet, we decided to go to Harveys for lunch (something we haven't done for AGES). As soon as it was suggested I immediately wanted to bail on the idea...but they wouldn't let me! So...I decided ahead of time to eat a quarter white chicken meal with water and a side salad!! Well...when I walked in and smelled the aroma...ahhhhh....I was in heaven! I felt myself making up excuses as to why I've EARNED the cheat of a wrap and onion rings and fries with gravy! I had this inner battle inside my head the entire time I stood in line! It was actually quite commical. If anyone else heard the "voices inside my head" they would have committed me right then and there! Then it was my turn to order...."grilled chicken salad with balsamic dressing...with a water please". I did it! I didn't even have the other meal, cuz I know how fattening the dipping sauce, the chicken skin, and that EVIL bun is...so I went 100% clean!!!! I was so proud of myself! While we were eating I had to look out the window, cuz watching them eat their bacon cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and pop would have been too unbearable! But I proved to myself that I CAN DO IT!!! I chalk this one up as another MAJOR success for moi!!! Haven't lost any weight this week though...guess that tells me that I GOTTA START THE WORK OUTS!!!!!!

9 Days Clean...time to add the exercise!!

Well...I managed to get through the weekend with PERFECT eating...so I feel great about myself! I even passed on ALL the munchies and drinks at a social event...which was hard to do cuz they had a few of my old fav's there! I drank my bottle of water, and chewed my sugar-free gum, and just stayed away from the table! Amazing how many people notice...and feel the need to comment...about the fact that I chose NOT to eat any SHIT!!! Anyways, I feel I have this food thing kinda down now! So I really need to work on adding the exercise in the mix too so I can increase my losses, and tighten everything up at the same time as I shed the pounds! I thought I was gonna start yesterday...but things got busy and I didn't! Then this morning started with an arguement with hubby (nothing too serious)...but I was pissed, and decided not to workout today either! Not sure why...but it is what it is! So I need to start tomorrow for sure! No excuses! Time is gonna pass me by, and I need to reach my goals! Time to start my 30 day shred...and my couch 2 5k program! Wanna look good out there jogging when the weather permits me to do it outside ya know!!!

7 Days Clean...6lbs lost!!!

Wow...this week I've eaten 100% clean and proper portions (that's key)! I'm shocked at the weight loss! 6 whole pounds! I'm soooooo excited! I've gotten myself out of the 70's...never to return again! At this rate...my goal is to be out of the 60's before my 40th Birthday! I turn 40 on March 8th...not that I'm stressed about my age at all, because I REALLY don't feel what I though 40 would be, but I just want to be very close to my goal! Originally, the goal was to be 140lbs by 40...but when I fell WAY off the wagon for 7-8 weeks over the holidays, and gained 14lbs during that time...I kinda blew that outa the water! I strongly believe in goal setting, but if you put your goals too high, where they are unrealistically unattainable, then you set yourself up for failure, and failure breeds a quitting mindset! Soooo, I've revamped my goals, readjusted my sails, and setting out to reach my new goals! I've completed one already...with a perfect week of eating (not sure I've ever done it for one whole week...usually award myself with "cheats" one day of the week). So now, this coming week, I need to keep up the streak, and add in there working out a minimum of 30 minutes EVERY day too!!! By doing that for the next 3 weeks, I should definately be down to 155lbs or less...that's the goal!!! Totally achievable too I think!!! That will leave me with 5 or 6 weeks left to lose the last 15lbs before I go away to the Dominican...where I promise to watch what I eat/drink, and get some exercise in daily so I don't gain soooo much weight! I've set myself a 5lb limit to gain while I'm gone...cuz I know I can lose that quickly when I get back!!!

Day 5...and 5lbs gone!!!

Well...I've done it! I've lost 5 lbs in 5 days! Now I know that it's not realistic to think that that quick rate will continue, but I'm excited that I've only got 4 more lbs to go and I've made up for my terrible 7 week gain of 15lbs during the Christmas season! Next week I add in the exercise, and it excites me to think of how great I'm going to do by putting the two together! I've got an intense focus right now, and I know that nobody can sway me right now! When I think that I'm only 29lbs away from my goal weight I get excited...I mean REALLY excited! I REALLY KNOW that I'm gonna totally smoke that orange bikini in April!!!! There is NO REASON or EXCUSE that's good enough to stop me now! Not even the fact that my 40th birthday is just 3 short weeks away! In fact, now I'm hoping that I can be down to 155 for my 4oth! That's my goal! Cuz that means I would only have 15 left to go before April 16th!!! Yay!!! Thanks for the online recipe sight btw! Definately gonna check that out this weekend! Happy Valentines day this weekend to all...and be sure to tell your sweety..."NO SWEETS PLEASE!" LOL

Day 4 100% clean eating!!!

Holy crap!!! Sorry for being so blunt...but I stood on the scale this morning...and in just 3 short days of PERFECT eating...I've lost 4lbs!!! That's almost what I lost all month for January doing exercising! I am absolutely blown away! Just imagine how I'm gonna melt away in 1 more week when I add the exercise into the picture! I'm gitty just thinking about it! Why didn't I start this earlier?

If anyone has any good quick and easy recipes...and portion tips...please send them along...as I really don't have many!!! The quick and easy meals in my household consists of chicken wings, chicken strips, chicken nuggets, french fries....you get the picture! That's ok for my boys and hubby (cuz they've said they refuse to give that up...for now...muahhhh...evil laugh), but I have to completely stay away from it! So I need to healthy quick choices I can "whip" up in 10-15 minutes!!!

Only 4 days in...but I feel INCREDIBLE!!!!! Food really does play a HUGE role on how we feel throughout the day!!! Yippy...finally had my "a-ha" moment...and now I'm gonnna run with it!!

Day 2 of 100% clean eating!!!

I know for some of you...counting the days of "clean" eating is NO BIGGY!!!! But for me...eating is my downfall!!! I sometimes think I exercise just so I can indulge in Burger King and Crazy Fries, and weekend beers!! I've realized it's just NOT worth it!!! " I know what they taste like, I can have them after I reach my goal, just not now!" Stole that quote from another competitor....thanks...it really reached home for me!!!! I"ve decided to REALLY focus on 100% clean eating...and at PROPER portions (another BIG downfall)! I was so impressed by how much weight was lost by one of our winners with hardly any excercise...just clean eating! So...due to my hectic schedule...the next 2 weeks I'm really focusing on the eating thing...and running a streak (thanks for that inspiration Spitz)! In 2 weeks things lighten up a little...and I start the 30 day shred 7 days a week, with couch 2 5k on Mon, Wed, Friday!!! I'm soooo excited, and a little anxious...cuz I'm promising right here...right now....that I will "FINISH WHAT I START"...thanks Kari!!!

Love this blogging...cuz as you can see...I got most of my ideas and inspiration from you guys...other people on the journey for health and success!!! Thanks to everyone for your inspiration!! xoxo

Goals and Excuses!

I just love that Kari had this as our challenge for the week! I was soooooo in need to do it, and this was the push I needed! What are my goals for this challenge?
1. I will get to my goal weight of 140lbs! That means I have 35 to lose, with 4 months to lose it...that's an average of 10 per month...which is totally doable by the way!
2. I will complete the 30 day shred during this month!
3. I will run a 5k with Spitz and Spukster before this challenge is done!
4. I will get control of my eating choices, and portions, and not let food control me any more.
5. I will complete the couch to 5k...starting in 2 weeks when I have Mondays and Fridays off!
6. I will keep positive and focused during the entire journey!
7. I WILL FOCUS!!!!

Wow...that was the easy part! Now I have to dig deep and discover why I've tried so many times before but failed! What are my excuses...the things that have kept me from fulfilling my goals! As I write down my excuses...I am taking ownership of them as being excuses of the PAST, and pushing through to a new, bright, future...WITH NO EXCUSES!

1. I can't be the only one not drinking at this party!
2. Christmas holidays only come once a year...I can cheat just this season!
3. I'm not a restaurant...I can't cook 2 different meals each night!
4. I'm too busy to exercise!
5. I need my sleep too...and I"m just too tired!
6. I've been good for a week now...I deserve to have Burger King to reward myself for my efforts!
7. What difference will one bite make?
8. I can't do everything in one day!!!

Well....there you have it! That's my list of excuses...and now that I'm typing them and saying them out loud...I realize just what "BUNK" they really are! I should be putting myself first! Making myself a priority! Who cares what other people are doing...I choose health! If I plan ahead of times...healthy meals can be quick and easy! I CHOOSE HEALTH!!!!! No more pisssin around...it's time to get serious, take control, and let everyone know how serious I am!!!! Those who love me and are truly my friends will understand and cheer me on....those who ridicule and try to sway me will have to sit in the backburner of my life right now....cuz I AM IMPORTANT...and I choose me!!!

Thanks Kari...that was quite therapeutic!!!!!! Watch out...February I'm gonna be focused!!!!

It's Official!!!

Well...the scale don't lie! I only lost 5lbs this month...that's only HALF of my goal! But do you know what?...I'm ok with that! It's better than the upward gain I would have had if it weren't for me trying to focus on food intake! It goes to show, that even when life gets too hectic to exercise...just eating right can drop the pounds...it'll just take a little longer to get there! But this is a lifelong journey right? That being said...the competitive side of me says...,get this thing going...there's money to be won...and the pride of carrying the "Biggest Loser" title!!! LOL! Just 2 short months and 2 weeks before my trip!!! Gotta drop 20-25lbs to sizzle in that little orange bikini!!! So I say......BRING IT!!!!

Disappointed...Time to SHUT UP AND GET MOVING!!!!

OMG!!!! Tomorrow is our first month weigh-in, and I'm dreading it! I totally messed up this month! I got overwhelmed with a hectic schedule, so I let the exercise slide! And I'm not sure why, but when the exercise slid...so did the eating! It was too easy to quickly grab something drive-thru on the way to or from clients! I'm not proud of what I've done, and I'm sure the scale will expose my lack of efforts tomorrow! But it's a new month, new resolve...and I KNOW you've heard that before...but I'm hoping this one is the ticket! See...I'd rather keep trying and stumbling, than to just give up and stop trying! One day...it'll stick! It's kinda like when I quit smoking 8 1/2 yrs ago! I tried to quit probably 12-15 times before something clicked and it finally stuck! I'm hoping my weight-loss will finally "click" for me too! So I'm never gonna stop trying...so you'll have to bear with me ladies (and gents if any men are following my blog)!

So here it is...my new plan! I don't think I should have any problem dedicating 30 minutes a day to Jillian...soooooo...tomorrow starts my 30 day shred! No sense in waiting til Monday...cuz then I'll just go to McDonalds this weekend..so lets start this thing now!!!! I won't be able to add the C25K in the picture until I'm done training my dental replacement...at which time I can add 30 extra minutes in on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday! That's it for exercise right now, cuz that's all the time I can PROMISE to put into it!

Now for the food!!!! That seems to be my downfall!! I'm going to REALLY focus on proper portions this month! Proper water intake! And healthier choices! If I do feel the need for a treat...I will limit the portion! For now, that's all that I can promise! I think the key is baby steps...so it doesn't feel all so foreign all at once! That's it...that's the plan!

I'll be posting my weight, and pics tomorrow...but don't be surprised if I didn't lose anything...or if I gained!!! I"m soooooo dreading this weigh-in!!!

New Month...New Plan!!!!

I'm quite excited! I've got a new plan! I've been really torn this week because while I'm thoroughly pumped about the fact that my business is taking off like crazy, it also means that I've had to stay up later in the evenings...and...well...I know that as much as exercise is vitally important for health...SO IS SLEEP!!! I cannot get healthy, and function at my best if I'm only getting 5-6 hours of sleep every night to get up at 4:15 to do P90X! I've done a lot of soul searching this week because I've felt terrible that I didn't even work out once! I had resolved to just DO IT...and get started Monday, February 1st, alongside my special Spitz! But I already have appointments booked next week for Monday-Friday! And I know I won't be able to get up so early! So...What I've decided is that I'm going to do the Jillian Micheals workouts every day (mon-Fri), they only take a half hour, so that gives me an extra hour of sleep each night! I'm also going to start the c25k on Mon, Wed, Frid (cuz I have mon and fri off the dental office), so I don't have to get up so early! I will alternate the plyo, kenpo, and yoga on the saturdays, and sunday I will do the stretch! This way I'll be getting exercise, AND sleep! In May I will be done with the dental office, and I won't have to get up until 6am...so then I will have the time it takes to devote to the P90X program! I'm so sorry Spitz to change things up.,..but I need to be realistic about my goal...otherwise I'm setting myself up for failure...and that leads to giving up! I think doing the c25k will get me ready for our 5k run too...and from what I've heard...Jillian beats you up in her video too!!!! Like I said...May 1st I will take on P90X to tighten everything up...cuz by then...I should be 30lbs lighter...with only 5 left to go!!!!! So that's it...that's the gameplan for now!!! I definately think it's manageable with my hectic schedule!!! Time shall tell!!!

No More Lip Service Please

I've been doing a lot of soul searching this week! It's getting scary how deep I'm looking into myself really. I've discovered that I love to give lip service! That means that I get all excited about my goals (not just weight related), and I can certainly talk the hype to EVERYONE I know...but I've never delivered! No wonder people don't believe that I'm going to reach my goal of 140lbs during this competition! I've made that promise to them and myself so many times in the last 9 years! It's time to shut up, and just do it! Stop talking about it...and...well...just get the job done! I turn 40 this year, and I do believe it's now or never! I don't want to let myself and others down AGAIN!!!! I just can't! Every time I let myself down, it makes it that much harder to complete it the next time! I'm taking this one week at a time...and no more talking about it to my friends and family...so you guys on this blog will have to suffer! I need to get it out somewhere...and this competition will be my outlet! That being said...February 1st starts a brand new month! I've wasted January away...and I don't intend to waste another month away. I'm hoping to lose 2-3lbs every week! I also intend to complete the P90X program this time! I only have 11 weeks left before I go away to Punta Cana...and I really NEED to look great in that orange bikini...so...no more talking....it's time to actually get this thing started!!!!

Back on Track!

Alright...I wrote a very long blog on my WLW page, but it wouldn't let me copy and paste into my blog...so this is the short and sweet version! I've realized that I need to slow down, enjoy the journey, and not push myself into complete exhaustion just to continue a streak, or reach my goals at all costs! That being said...I know that goals and continual efforts are key to a healthy lifestyle...and I do plan to keep it up! But I'm going to listen to my body...and if I need a break for a day or two...I'll take it! If something special comes up and I want to indulge in a little "cheat" foods, I'll do it!!! This is a lifelong journey for me!!! I discovered it's not all about the numbers on the scale (don't get me wrong...that's important to me too), but I need to enjoy the journey...or it's pointless! I want to be healthy to make my life better...not miserable! So my goal still remains to lose 10lbs every month until this last 40lbs is gone...and to do the P90X program "classic" version this time! I am going to give it my EVERYTHING...but if I need a break...then I'll take it! I still plan to take home some money during this competition..,so watch out!

By the way...my workout this morning rocked! I really brought it the entire time! There were a few ab exercises that I just sat through and recouperated...but for the most part...I brought it the entire 90 minutes today!!!!

Advil Anyone?

Ok...so is it possible that I may have been a little overzealous with my latest undertaking of the P90X program? I am so sore that it hurts to sit and pee!! That may sound funny, but damn...I can hardly move! I had to take 1600mg of ibuprofin...and I'm STILL aching all over! I did the one hour workout this morning on the shoulders and arms...but I could only do about 1/5th of the abripperX! My stomach and back seriously just "gave out"! I've never had that happen before! I'd feel guilty about not doing it...but I DID try! Sheesh....I'm a little stressed about how yogaX is gonna feel tomorrow if I'm this sore today! I don't remember it hurting this much the first time around! I just want results soooooo badly that I just MAY be overdoing it a little bit! Mamma needs a new wardrobe...I gotta win me some money from this competition! Any ideas other than meds for my incredibly achy, achy body? I actually feel bruised all over...it's weird! Even my boobs hurt doing the jogging on the spot and jumping jacks for the warm up!!! Goodness gracious.,..what have I done?!

Plyo kicked my ass!!!!

Jan 19, 2010 07:52 AM
Last round of P90X for me was the "lean" version! We never did the plyometrix CD!!!! I did it once waaaayyyy back before I even got started the first time...but forgot just how gruelling it really is! I have to say that I'm freakin exhausted! I brought it to this workout this morning! All I could think of is me with all the skinny chicks from work lying pool-side in Punta Cana...wait a minute...who's that skinny bitch in the amazing orange bikini...SHIT...it's me!!! OMG I can't wait!!!!! It was nice to step on the scale and start to see things going down...and that's the ONLY way they're gonna go from now on I tell you! I'm sooo ready to kill this thing! Bring it baby...bring it!!!!

Yay...Day 1 under my belt!

Jan 18, 2010 08:52 AM
I feel on top of the world! Got up at 4:15 this morning to do P90X day one! I feel great! I can't believe how out of shape you can get with 5 weeks off! I really had to push myself! In fact...I had to stop and take breaks a few times with the AbRipperX! I'm so excited about this new journey! I love that Spitz, Pammy, and now a girlfriend from work, Sara, is doing the program too! It's nice when you have other people doing what you're doing! Only they can truly understand the ups and downs that come with this intense program! Here's to watching the scale go down the final 35lbs to reaching my goal during the next 90 days!!!

New Year...New Resolve!!!!

I wasn't going to post anything until Monday (18th), when I get started with my new 13 week game plan...but I'm excited for a couple reasons!

1. I've fallen WAY off the wagon for the last 5-6 weeks, and even though I feel terrible about the 15lb weight gain, I'm excited to know that I'm in a competition with wonderful people who know my struggles, accept them, understand them, and truly want to help me with them.

2. It's a new year, and I have found new drive deep, down inside myself to achieve all my goals this year... with fitness, personal, business, and family. All areas of my life are going to shine this year...I can feel it deep down inside my core!

3. I'm excited that my buddy for the past 13 years is coming on board with WLW to achieve her goals! She's been yo-yoing for the past couple of years...and is determined to lose too. Now she only has 15-20lbs to lose, but it's been a thorn in her side for sometime now! We're going on the trip to Punta Cana in 13 weeks together...and we're gonna be HOT!!! Welcome aboard CHUTER!!!!

4. Looking forward to winning some money in the competition to buy me some new clothes!! LOL...cuz I know I'm winning some of that moula!!

Finally...I'm just so excited to have someone like Spitz who has been such an inspiration and blessing in my life! You have NO idea how much you have affected me throughout this whole process! When I've felt like a failure, you reminded me of what I've accomplished...when I thought I couldn't continue, you made the 6 hour road trip to come and rejuvinate my soul! You've been by my side the entire time, and you've reminded me what the human spirit can accomplish through your example!! I love you Spitz!! xoxoxo

OK ladies...I'm back from 2 weeks of sun and fun and I must admit....over indulgence! I'd say I'm ashamed of myself, but that wouldn't do me any good! I take full responsibility for my choices over the holidays, and I now choose to make 2010 the year to achieve all of my goals! During this challenge, I WILL reach my final goal of 140lbs...and I WILL take your money several times!! LOL!!! Bring it ladies....bring it!!!